Tamar,

I am almost done with your book and love it. However our main problem does not seem to be addressed: our 4 month old goldendoodle will not go for walks on leash. If we take him to the woods for hikes where he can be safely off leash, he will walk better but still needs encouragement. In our neighborhood on the leash, he will just sit down and refuse to move. Sometimes we can get him a few houses down with the use of treats, but once he has gone to the bathroom he turns around and pulls so hard towards home, there is no getting him to continue walking. He has walked with the motivation of another dog but one is not always available. Our puppy class instructor said she had 'never heard' of this and had no suggestions. Please help! We don't want to make it worse and pull him but sometimes we are at wits end because of all the destructive energy he has because he won't walk.

Dear Erin,

Take a light weight rope or leash and attach it to your pup's collar. Let him wear this around the family room of your home, when you are there with him, until he gets used to it. Then take him outside in a fenced back yard, letting him drag the leash/rope around, again while you are near by. Let him become accustomed to it as it drags over the ground. When he's not paying attention to it, pick up the end and go with him. After walking a few steps, stop and turn around. Don't turn back towards him; keep your body straight, not turning your head or shoulders around towards him. He will stop, look at your back side and more than likely come towards you. Say nothing until he is at your side, then praise him in a big way. Take a few more steps and repeat the above, until he's walking with you. Sometime we unintentionally give attention to the dog for "not" walking with us. If you turn your body towards the dog, your body language is telling the dog that you are now headed his way, so why would he need to come towards you! If you start offering treats or start pleading with him to come, you are giving lots of attention to him for not coming along. If you go pick him up, that's even more attention. Have patience, and after he's gone potty, just stand there until he gets bored with that place, then walk him around in a circle, then out of the circle as you continue on your walk. Only give attention while he is moving with you, and not for sitting or lying down. Once he's gotten comfortable walking in the house with you, then in the yard, the other places you walk should be no big deal. You are wise in not wanting to "pull" him on his leash. That would only make matters worse.

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hello Tamar. I have a 2-year-old Beagle/hound dog and she digs non-stop. I know this is a very rudimentary problem compared to other issues I have read about on your site, but it has become so frustrating. We just spent more money than I care to remember landscaping our yard and we are just at a loss as to how to train her to stay out of our flowers and to stop digging in the yard. I really believe in your methods because many family and friends refer to my dog as my child, and she is. I try to love and praise her as much as possible but it becomes difficult to not get angry when she is digging.

Please help!

Dear Ashley,

Digging can indeed be a costly problem as your young dog tears up your landscaping! First lets try to identify why she's digging. Dogs will dig for several reasons, some of which we can identify. If she's hot, she may be looking for a cool place to lay. If you have gophers or moles, she may looking to catch prey. She could be digging to get out of your yard, and into another environment. She may be bored and just looking to find something else to do. Let's focus on the last one, since you said you would like to keep her out of the flowers and that she's digging in the yard a lot. First check out the yard. How many toys does she have there? Were those toys there yesterday, the day before and the day before that? Keep a few toys in the yard at all times and rotate those toys every few days, just to keep her interested in them. One of the best things that really works well, is to give her a sand box! You can use landscape timbers to make a frame, dump in play sand and give her a place to dig. Every couple of days you can hide toys there, for her to find, buried slightly under a thin layer of sand. You can encourage her that when she digs in the sand, she can find wonderful surprises from time to time. If "she" decides that one spot is the very best place ever to dig, she will do it more often. If she also has other toys, maybe of lesser value, in the yard, she might decide to play with them and will not be so excited about playing in the flowers. Dogs are of course drawn to new mulch, or soft, freshly turned soil, so keep that in mind and see if you can make the sand pile a truly wonderful place to use her great nose. Next, but less effective, would be to try to find something that will not cause harm but that she does not like to smell. Place this around the plants to see if she will avoid going into the flower beds. If the beds are fairly small, you could place pieces of steel rebar rods around the beds, making it difficult to dig. Environmental changes to deter her might be possible, but dogs do enjoy the smells of some pretty icky stuff, and if you place something in the beds to make digging less of an option, you need to make sure it's safe. Humidity and watering the flowers will lessen the effect of most scent deterrents. A word of caution: manure is sometime irresistible to dogs. I'd give the sand box a try. Keeping her nails trimmed short will also be a help.

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hi Tamar!

I just recently got a puppy about two months ago. She is now about four months and she is a little mut. I am still trying to first potty train her more then anything else. I keep her in our pantry so she has space to play. She doesn't use the bathroom in there and everytime we take her out of the pantry we take her to the backyard so she can reliever herself; once she does i let her come inside and give her a treat. But when we let her run around to play in the house she usually goes somewhere alone, when we aren't looking, and has an accident. How can i potty train her where i don't have to constantly watch her? I know this is probably a typical question but it would help so much if you can share some advice...thank you!

Dear Theresa,

Please read Chapter Eighteen, on housebreaking, in The Loved Dog. This chapter will give you a good understanding of how to housebreak your pup. No matter whether you have a young pup such as yours or an older dog that is not housebroken, the message is the same. If you have found urine or feces on the floor and you did not see your dog doing this, the dog has learned something. She has learned that using the bathroom on the floor is OK, as long as nobody sees you do it. She certainly has been "self" rewarded, because she now feels better and nobody seemed to object, because nobody told her otherwise, at least at that moment! So, it's like you being on a long road trip by car, you are glad to see a restroom because it will relieve your needs. Same for your dog, she feels better physically when she can relieve herself. So, that being said, yes, you need to watch her more carefully. If you cannot watch her and know what she's doing, simply put her in a safe area, either in a crate or another place where you know she will not potty. If you just need to keep her in your general area, so you can watch her, you can try placing her on a long leash and tie her to your waist. You can "wear" your dog for a short time. At least that way, your more likely to notice if she looks like she needs to go. Only give her the freedom of the house, after you are sure she is well housebroken. Some people tell me of their dogs looking "guilty" after going to the bathroom in another room. The reason this happens is not because they know they are wrong, as the owners sometime believe, but because they know when this has happened before, their owners became upset and the owners demeanor changed. This usually means a bad result for the dog. The poor dog doesn't really understand that it was the act of her relieving herself on the antique oriental rug that caused a problem, she just knows that when there is urine or feces present in the house, that her owners freak out! What she needs to understand is that it was the act of her "doing it," where she did it, that was the problem. Because nobody told her not to do it, as it happened, she has not a clue why the owner is now freaking out. Dogs operate in the moment, not well after the fact. That is why it is vital to watch this little girl. Help her to understand, going in the house is not an option and if she forgets and does it, you will be right there to remind her. If you catch her in the act you can be instructive, a quick correction with your voice and emotion, should do the trick. If the deed is done and it's after the fact, even only a few seconds, it's your mistake for not watching better.

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hi Tamar,

My husband and I just got Westie about 4 1/2 months ago. We love having her, but we are having some problems. Not only is she not potty trained, but anytime someone visits our home she runs and jumps at them, and in the process scratches up peoples legs. She stays hyper for quite some time, and when our guests sit down she will also run over and just jump in their lap. Some people don't mind, but not everyone enjoys this. We know she is just excited, and is a very sweet dog, but what can we do to keep her from terrorizing our guests? Thanks!

Dear Brooke,

These two problems are very common ones. We hope that the suggestions to correct the problems will be helpful to you and to many others as well. Jumping is addressed in chapter eleven and housebreaking in chapter eighteen of The Loved Dog. Reading these chapters should give some understanding and hopefully these tips will help as well.

Jumping up on people can be difficult for some dogs to resist. The chapter in the book will work for most dogs, especially for puppies. Here are a few more tips to follow if you still need a little more help. Secure the leash to your dog's collar or harness, and the other end to a stationary object she cannot pull over. The leash handle looped around a door knob, then the leash run to the other side of the door will work nicely. This will restrain her from being able to advance forward and from jumping on you as you work on this exercise. You need rewards in your hands for this one, and your dog should love working on this because it's so easy for her to succeed. While your dog is tied, step back from her about ten feet or so. You and your special treats can now approach your dog. As you get close, but not close enough for her to jump up on you, stand there and wait for her to offer you a "sit." If she guesses wrong and tries to jump up, you can step back a few steps. Show her that when her front feet leave the ground, you also back up, along with the desired treats. As you play this approach/retreat game, she will begin to keep her front feet on the ground, because if she just stands there, she will be able to receive a treat from you. After a few such coaching lessons, you can then require her to "sit" in order to receive a reward treat. Once your dog learns that she can receive a treat, simply for sitting as you approach, then you can have other people and children practice the same exercise. Your pup should soon see that sitting is much preferred as people approach. You then can take the leash and you can walk her up to people as well, using the same principles. Just be sure to walk her only close enough for her to offer the sit for a social greeting, and not so close that she might make the choice of jumping. As mentioned in the book, you can use "fake" guest who are aware of the "game" while she's learning these new behaviors. Practice makes the understanding happen. Until she understands what we want, be sure to not let her "rehearse" unwanted "mugging" of your friends and company. If someone come over for a visit and she is rewarded for jumping up, this will confuse her more. Your company will unknowingly reward her for jumping, if they give her any attention, while she has her front feet on them, either by looking at her, by speaking to her, or by touching her. These three things, whether intended to be in a positive or negative way, will give attention to an unwanted behavior. You can help to eliminate this from happening by having her on leash before inviting your guest in your home. After they come in, and after your pup has "emotional" control and has returned to her cute self, then you can ask visitors to help you to only offer attention when she's in a sit and not jumping on them or into their lap. The fact that "some" people do not "mind" and this is allowed to happen, is confusing to a dog. This leaves her to try jumping on everyone that enters your home, in hopes that they also "won't mind." Let's help her to understand that unless she hears a "request" word that now means it's OK to jump up on someone, that sitting is the desired behavior. In short, read chapter eleven once more, help her to understand what the requirements are for social greetings of humans, and prevent opportunities for rehearsing unwanted behavior. This will work for puppies as well as older dogs. It's kind of you to teach your little one early what works and what does not.

Best wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hi Tamar,

We have a 12-week-old Border Terrier, Mulligan (picture attached). I have just read your book and watched your DVD and plan on working on his doggie manners. However, we do have a problem with one of his behaviors that needs immediate attention! We have a 7 1/2 year old daughter and a 12 year old son. When Mulligan gets excited and playful, he will start aggressively biting on my daughter's pantleg and growling loudly, many times nipping her. Maybe he thinks he's playing, but it doesn't look that way! She has many scratch and bite marks on her hands. We have tried to work on the "kisses" you talked about, but when she's out in the yard with him and he's in this state of mind, it's very hard to snap him out of it. She's tried turning her back, asking him to sit, and trying to leave the area (but feeling very trapped), so she ends up screaming. What can I have her do to snap him out of this behavior and be able to have fun with him? He's even nipped at her face when she picks him up if he doesn't want to go.

Thanks for your help!

Dear Emily,

As you have seen, puppy play can escalate very fast in a short time. Mulligan is playing too aggressively with your daughter, most likely due to her being the youngest and more vulnerable of your two-legged pack members. An adult needs to be present during the time your daughter and Mulligan are together; the next few weeks can be crucial to their relationship. Your puppy is doing what he would be doing with another puppy, playing rough and tough games. The more Mulligan has opportunity to rehearse being a bully to your child, the more those behaviors will be difficult to change. Your family needs to help Mulligan learn new games, so that he can play with your daughter in a structured way. Teach him to play retrieve games and noise work games like finding certain toys. Have her right there with you as you teach the sit, down and stand. She can hold the food in her hand to lure Mulligan into position and you can be right there if she needs help doing this. It might be helpful to work with the puppy in a small room or to place the pup on a leash, just to keep him in the area with you and your daughter.

Parents often bring a puppy into the home with children and believe they will be the best of friends. Success depends on how the pup is managed, and upon how this bond is allowed to develop. Trying to avoid sharp needle-like teeth and nails can be a challenge for some adults but can really be scary for a child. It will take a few more weeks of guidance before your puppy and your daughter can enjoy time alone together, but the day will come. Until then, teach your daughter and this puppy to have fun together with structured games, during times that she has a coach near. No matter if you're teaching the pup how to play "people" games, or working on teaching him to enjoy being brushed and being handled, your daughter can be a big part of the process. Show this puppy that good things happen when she's around, and show your daughter that she can be safe because she has "back up" from you or another adult.

Best wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Dear Tamar:

From your book, I’ve gotten some really terrific suggestions about how to manage some of the problems within my brood of the following: a nine-year-old Corgi mix, a six-year-old Sheltie, a three-year-old Beagle, and a nine-month old Papillon. The Corgi and the Beagle are both “pound puppies”, so they have issues from their past; however, we co-exist quite well as a family. I walk them (sometimes individually, sometimes two at a time, and sometimes even all four) at least 45 minutes each morning, plus briefly in the late afternoon, and we take another lengthy walk pretty much each evening.

My biggest problem is their excitement as we prepare for a walk. I live alone, so I can’t get them to the door and get leads on them individually without a lot of jumping, barking, play-growling, and general chaos! I’ve attempted your suggestion about turning my back on them and ignoring the noise and jumping (this is really the only time jumping is a problem); however, they’re just so happy and excited that as soon as I turn back toward them and attempt to connect leads to their collars, the chaos continues. I try to maintain a calm façade, and gently say, “Quiet,” but with very little success. Once all leads are attached and we get to the gate at the back yard, ready to go through and begin our walk, they fall into place and are relatively cooperative.

Please tell me how, working alone, I can get four dogs to calmly allow me to get us all prepared for a walk without alerting the entire neighborhood with our noise.

Dear Sharon,

Thank you for letting me know the book has been a help with your four dog pack. It is wonderful that you can walk your dogs as often as you do; however, I understand the frustration with the chaos that happens before the walks even begin. Let's start with what the "requirements" are before the walk actually happens. Separate the dogs so that you can teach each one as an individual. If you work one on one with them, after a few short sessions you should be able to then work two dogs together and then progress to three, then to all four together. Teach each dog to sit while having his/her leash attached. Follow the guidelines in Chapter Ten of The Loved Dog, to teach the sit. Each dog needs to learn to sit calmly, with manners while the leash is attached. Then, after the leash is on, walk the dog around the house or room, remove the leash and repeat this process until the dog calms down. Help the dogs to see that the leash does not always mean a rush out the door. Sometimes, it's just a walk around the living room, sometimes it's just sitting with you, while they have a leash attached, no "big deal." If the presence of the leash produces such excitement that their emotional state is out of control, you can take the edge off by using it in other circumstances, to lessen the stimulation of the response to seeing the leash. When coaching the dogs, one on one, you can request that they sit and remain calm before you open the door to the outside. Once all dogs know that the requirement for a walk is sitting with manners, you should be able to get leashes attached to all four and then be off for a good walk. Yes, helping them to learn new behavior will take a little time, but not as long as it may seem. Putting relevance to sitting for a nice walk, will be important to them and being able to learn as individuals will be less confusing for each dog.

Best wishes and Happy trails.
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

After discovering the answers to other questions were down the “Ask Tamar” page, I found a relevant answer one question I had relating to my dog Bodie, who has turned into a bully at the dog park whenever there’s an unneutered male (especially one that tends to be more submissive). I had come to realize that we were probably going to have to stop going for a while – a disappointment for both of us, as Bodie enjoys running free and playing with other dogs, while I enjoyed visiting with other doggie “parents”, and watching the variety of dogs that passed through there. I do have hope that we will eventually be able to go back, and continue to work with him. I do have another concern, though, that came up again this morning, really scaring me, and I’m hoping maybe you can offer some guidance and/or hope in this case. I’m afraid this problem could even get worse, as we’ve lost the outlet for expending his energy at the dog park.

I adopted my loveable and energetic mutt, Bodie from the Denver Dumb Friends League in January. He was estimated to be about a year-and-a-half then, so is probably about 2 years old now. In the almost 6 months I’ve had him, I feel we’ve really bonded, and have done some good work together. I’ve taken him through basic obedience training (with a trainer who uses positive training techniques), and keep reading and learning some great books (including The Loved Dog, which has really provided some great insight) to better work with him. But, I don’t seem to be making much progress at getting him to come to me when freedom (or a squirrel) have his attention. He loves to run, and has been a successful escape artist several times since I’ve had him, including this morning when the leash was apparently not securely clipped on, and came off during our walk. I am so afraid when he does this that he’s going to get hurt, or even killed, as he takes off running, including across the street. He does not respond to my call at all until he has tired himself out. The same is true when he sees a squirrel – it is as if he forgets I’m there, until the squirrel has been “treed” or is out of sight. How can I win him over these distractions which are clearly a huge draw for him?

Bodie is thought to be a Shiba Inu mix, a breed that I understand tends to be independent, and likes to run. A friend has suggested to me that I may never be able to safely let him off leash, and may always have to be on guard against escape – that some dogs are just like that. Do you believe that’s true? Is it possible I have a dog that can never be taught to come when the pull of his nature calls?

Thank you for all your wonderful guidance. I have read your book (since hearing you speak at the Tattered Cover Bookstore), and continue to re-read sections as I work to apply them. You explain things so well. I would appreciate any additional suggestions you could give in this situation. I have thought about putting together some kind of video to submit for 20/20, but am not sure if Bodie’s issues would be a good fit, or even what the deadline is for that (and have not been able to engage an “assistant” in this endeavor), but you may yet see us show up with a submission. Keep up the awesome work. I’ll be watching for your appearances to learn whatever I can.

Dear Lessa,

Thank you for the kind words and for coming to the Tattered Cover Bookstore! Your little "special mix" Shiba Inu, sounds like quite the squirrel dog! Keep working on your leadership role and your exercises and lets hope he gets to enjoy the dog park again someday.

First, lets try to keep Bodie with you! Check the clip on your leash. I've seen some clips that are the type that the clip part swings inward, in order to be "clipped" on the ring of the leash, and have seen them "un-clip" by pushing against the ring. If you have that type clip, go to the hardware store and find a brass clip that operates by you pulling the clip downward with your thumb, to open. Those seem to stay attached better than the ones that swing inward. Take it to a good shoe or saddle shop and have them stitch it onto your leash, for better safety.

Teaching Bodie the "value" of coming away from something moving and of high value (like squirrels) will take a bit of work, but it can be done. That said, let me also say that your friend is wise in suggesting that you take caution in turning him off leash, even once trained. Some breeds or individuals are more prone to chasing, predatory games than others. Many of our terrier breeds have this drive in a big way, as well. When you are dealing with a natural behavior the dog is born with, it will override most trained behavior that is not trained to a high level, and sometimes even then. Dogs that have been bred to be, shall we say, independent, to not need someone's direction when hunting, for example, can be less likely to hear our calls. So, knowing that, we can move forward and work on creating a great response to the word "come" and also make sure Bodie is on leash or within a fenced property.

You mention that you have been working with a trainer who uses positive methods; good for you. Ask for help in teaching Bodie to come away from distractions when called. You can use the suggestions in the book, in chapter fourteen and progress to showing Bodie the value of coming away from mild distractions and then working up to coming away from such things as a moving object. Start with simple things, like a rolling ball, just a few inches away to the hardest level, a tennis ball that was hit with a tennis racket. If, over time, you can coach Bodie well enough to come away from something with movement, in the form of a game, you will be amazed at how that will work to get him to leave chasing a squirrel when he's called. This won't keep him from ever chasing the squirrels when you're not in the yard with him. The best we can realistically hope for is that he will understand the power of the reinforcement he can count on getting from you IF he does come to you when you call him. Bodie has to believe in his heart that if he stops what he's doing, to come to you, that through his eyes, it will be worth his efforts.

Be fair to yourself and to your friend at the other end of the leash. Be aware of the "gifts" mother nature gave our canine friends, and respect that natural behaviors are quite a strong pull. Continue to coach Bodie to trust that you are his best friend and the keeper of his rewards and you should see great results.

Best wishes
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hi Tamar,

I have a 2 1/2 year old male / neutered Bernese Mountain Dog, who is the sweetest dog on earth. In the last two weeks, he has developed a fear of going in our SUV. He has never done this before. I provide him and the other two Newfys, a nice pet ramp, for them to easily get in our SUV, but all of a sudden, he does not want to go. My husband has now had to pick him up and put him in the truck to take us to our lakehome, which we have gone to every weekend for years.

Once we get him in the truck, he's fine, and just relaxes during the 2 hour drive. When we get to the lakehouse - he refuses to get out of the truck, and let me tell you, at 150 lbs, it's very difficult to get him out! I don't believe there's any physical problems. Once we get him out of the truck, he's fine. When we tried to leave to go home, he doesn't want t go. I'm at my wits in trying to figure out what's going on with this strange new behavior. We haven't changed anything in our normal routine that we can think of, same trip, same truck, same people.

Can you offer any suggestions?

Thanks so much for any assistance you can provide on this difficult new behavior pattern.

Dear Jo Ann,

You may never know for sure why your dog has decided that he does not want to enter or exit your truck. The fact that he weighs 150 lbs. is certainly a great reason to try to change his mind! First and foremost, take him in to his vet for a check up. You mention that you don't believe there's any physical problem but you don't know for sure. He could have something going on with his hips, his shoulder or back area that you are completely unaware of. Getting into or out of the SUV, may have caused pain. Once he has seen the vet and you can say, with confidence, that the vet does not think it is a physical problem, then we can address his behavior. Check to make sure the ramp is not the problem. Is it secure, does not move or make noise when he climbs up? See if you can entice him to put his front feet up on the bottom of the door way, using some fresh cooked de-boned chicken, or steak. Put the other two dogs in the vehicle and feed them something wonderful and make a really big fuss about it. Like the "big party" is in there and he's left outside the vehicle, on leash. Just focus on the ins and outs, no need to even start the engine, since the traveling is not the problem. Have your husband hold him on leash and don't let him actually get in the vehicle when the other two dogs are having a great time. Get them in and out two or three times, fairly quickly. If he sees them having a good time and getting some really high quality treats, he just might decide he does not want to be left out. When it looks like he wants in, let him go. Another thing to try would be to pass the leash through the other door to someone else, then both people stand in the opposite door, calling him in. See if he will go in first without the other dogs. Now, about leaving the vehicle, make sure if you are holding his leash, that you are not facing him. Turn your body away from him. If you face him, he may decide you are going to come his direction anyway, so why should he leave the SUV? Do not give him any attention by looking at him, or talking to him, until he has left the vehicle. He may simply enjoy all the attention he gets by not going into or leaving the vehicle. If you think you may have been giving him more attention for this unwanted behavior, just give him the silent treatment instead, saving all the attention and praise for what he does right.

After your vet visit and finding that nothing is physically wrong, have some real coaching sessions, until he's comfortable going into and out of the SUV.

Best wishes
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hi Tamar,

I have two chocolate labs, 4 and 6 years old. We recently moved from a large home and yard, where my husband was able to drive the dogs around a lot during the day and let them run and play freely in open spaces. We now live in a smaller home with a small yard, and my husband is working out of town a lot. I have tried to take them for walks around our subdivision, but they pull on the leash and take off whenever they see something fun to chase. I've read the chapter on "walking" in your new book, but they are both over 70 lbs. and as strong as draft horses! I'm developing carpal tunnel syndrom in my hands from holding the leashes back, and have burns on my palms where they pull the leash through so quickly when they run off. I have found a small area to let them run freely in, but walking them to it is clearly difficult and unfair to our neighbors, and driving is tricky because there is a creek and a pond where they play and come out co vered in mud! I am desperate and am thinking I'll have to find another home for them, but the kids and I are heartbroken and would love to be able to keep our family together! Thank you so much for any help you can offer!

Dear Holly,

Even though things have changed after your recent move, that does not have to lead to rehoming your family pets. The good news is that dogs are very adaptable and they can do just fine without a large yard and freedom to run. Many city dogs never know the freedom your dogs once enjoyed, and those dogs are quite happy.

You might want to try a harness, to help you with walking your dogs. There are some wonderful products that are made to help with walking large powerful dogs, that will lessen the trouble your having with your wrist. The Easy Walk Harness is such a tool and can be found here http:// www.premier.com/pages.cfm?id=74 . You can still use the suggestions in The Loved Dog book for teaching walking, only use the harness to give you more control over your large dogs.

If your dogs are able to explore and smell different places, they will get enjoyment from just a short walk around your area. If you are unable to provide a walk, even with different equipment, you can try to stimulate them in other ways. Doggy Day Care might be a good option, one or more days a week, or perhaps there are dog walkers in your area; ask local vets or groomers about this. Check to see if there are any dog parks near your area. If your dogs like to play retrieve games, wear them out in your small yard with many short throws, then take them on leash for a short sniff session around the front yard. Have fun teaching them to "hunt" for a toy; the kids can really get into the game and everyone has a good time. Dogs have wonderful noses, and if you give them something to sniff out, they are sure to get tired, mentally as well as physically. You should be able to find some good books that can help with teaching "nose work" games. One such book that comes to mind is "Fun Nose Work for Dogs" by Roy Hunter. Keep in mind that dogs will be happy to get involved in anything you can do with them, so go forward, enjoy your dogs and have fun. You can keep this "family" together.

Best wishes
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hi Tamar,

I don’t have a dog right now, but I do plan on getting one soon. I have had dogs almost all my life and I love them, but my living/working situation makes it more difficult. I work all day and I don’t know what I should do with the dog while I’m at work. I would like to figure out how this would work before I actually bring a dog home to find out later that he is not happy. How would I housebreak a puppy when I’m working all day? What should I do to make sure that the dog is happy?

Thanks

Hi Krystle,

It is refreshing to receive questions like yours. All too often, well-intended people bring a dog into their lives without thinking ahead. Luckily, few people would go out and bring home a horse, without a good deal of pre-planning; unfortunately, many people will bring a dog home, with little or no pre-planning. Glad to see you’re not one of these folks. I would suggest reading The Loved Dog from cover to cover (big grin). Because you have experience with having dogs in the past, you may already be more prepared than some, but the book may refresh your memory or give you some new tools for your toolbox. The book will give you information on housetraining and the ever-important information you can utilize to become the best dog coach your new companion can have. Providing good leadership and guidance, along with proper management techniques should insure that you have success, and these things are brought up in the book. In today’s society, we always seem to be rushing around in order to "fit" things into our busy schedules, and giving a certain amount of time to our pets on a daily basis is a big commitment.

The requirements for a puppy and the requirements for a dog that is already housetrained would be different. If you bring home a puppy, you might need help from a friend or family member in the first month or two. If you work close enough to go home during lunch or break periods, to let the pup out after short time periods that might work. It might be easier if you decide to adopt an older dog that is already housetrained. Doggy Day Care or dog-walkers are an option to help with busy schedules. The book has a list of seven basic things that are essential to a dog’s well being, found on page 46. If you follow this list, you and your new dog should be off to a great start.

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hello, my name is Ashlee and I am the proud owner of an English Springer Spaniel/American Eskimo mix named Riley. Riley is one years old and I have been training her in a way very similar to the loved dog method and then once I saw you on Oprah I bought your book and have been working with her the loved dog way ever since. However I am not sure that she is connected to me like you describe in your book. A few The Loved Dog Q & A October 2007 months ago if I took her on a walk off leash she would run ahead and then stop and come back once she realized I was out of sight but as she has been getting older she isn't doing that. Now I have to call her to get her to come find me. I am not sure how to get that connection back. Do you have any suggestions? Thank you.

Hi Ashlee,

Riley is growing up and becoming more independent by nature but that does not mean you have to lose the connection you had with her as a puppy; however, it will be different. Most puppies will not wander off very far when they are very young but as they grow up and become more confident and perhaps more curious, they will likely begin to wonder, as Riley has done. If you have access to an area where it is safe to allow her off leash, there are several things you can implement, in order to keep her connected. You now are competing with Mother Nature, when you are outside, so you have to be creative. If you become spontaneous in your behavior and make your walks together interesting, she will be more likely to not want to leave you. First, a word of caution: keep working on getting her to come away from distractions when called. If, on your walk, she finds a critter to chase, you will have some good training to rely on. During your walk, change direction often, so that she really has to keep an eye on you. When she comes near you, reward her with some unexpected treats. You can pretend to "find" a "surprise" in the bushes or grass by acting like you found a wonderful treat or a toy that mysteriously showed up. If she’s there with you, you can "share" the fun with her and give her a treat that seems to come from the grass or with the toy that somehow "grew" from the bush. Start teaching her that you are magical, and that weird, wonderful things happen near you. The more creative and spontaneous you become, the less she will want to venture off. In the beginning, do these things early into the walk, and often. As she begins to understand just how fascinating you are on these walks, you can begin to spread out the times between changing direction and finding surprises that may be out there. No need to call her name for these "events;" she’ll have to be paying attention in order to "notice" these special changes around you. You should have her connected to you in no time. The trick is in letting this be her decision to be with you! Get creative and have fun.

Best Wishes
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Dear Tamar,

We have a 14 month old black lab/ pit bull mix named Dude. Dude has done well with the basic commands of sit, stay, come. Our problem is he will sit down in front of us and just bark. I tried your method of shuush with the hand signal over the lips and the spray bottle of water and the "gold" treats. Now when i do the shuush it seems like he is just waiting for the gold treats and if he doesn't get one he keeps on barking. Is he asking for something? What should we do? He is driving us crazy!! Thank you for your help. I love your book

Dear G. Family

The good news is that Dude is starting to get the idea that he needs to do "something" in order to receive something from you; he is just trying to guess what that might be. Yes, he is trying to tell you that either he doesn’t understand the requirements, or that "you’re" the one that’s driving him crazy! ? He may be confused because of the results he gets when he does this. Dude is doing what works for him; he is getting your attention. It sounds as if he is getting too much attention for the barking, even if that is not your intention. If, when he does either a "sit" or a "down" accompanied by barking, you look at him, talk to him, or touch him, then he has been rewarded for that behavior. From now on, when Dude does this, change your response, by ignoring him. Do not give him any attention; in fact, you might want to turn away from him or even leave the area when he barks. Expect this to get slightly worse before it gets better. What he did before got him attention, so he may try even harder to get you to notice, but if he does not receive the same results from you, he will change his behavior. The change you make, will change what he does and it will get better!

If he does this during your coaching sessions, the same would apply. If for instance, you have asked him to "down";" he does the down, but also throws in the bark with it, so that response is incorrect and can not be rewarded. He should not be scolded for doing the incorrect behavior. Simply start over and ask him for a down that can be rewarded, without the annoying bark. The key is to not reinforce an unwanted behavior. Dude sounds like a smart dog who has learned well what works for him. Make sure the entire family is consistent, and before long neither your family nor Dude will be driving each other crazy!

Wishing you quiet sits and downs,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hi Tamar!

First, I read your book and loved it. As an elementary school teacher, I felt it aligned with my beliefs about teaching and motivation without fear.

Here's my question: last year, we adopted a stray dog (75 lbs. retriever/lab/who knows what!). It's been a joy training him with treats to sit, stay, come, "roll over", give kisses, walk with me, bring the toy, on and on. He's on a tight schedule for feeding and walks and is a dream in the home- he doesn't jump, bark (well, rarely), or go on furniture.

So what's the problem? Other dogs. I've trained him to walk by my side and we occasionally release him (extend the leash) so he can sniff around, but he will come right back to my side when I call him.

Unfortunately, all the training we do goes out the window when we're walking and he's on a leash and he spots another dog within a few feet. He ignores our commands, pulls and even bucks on his hind legs to growl or whine. Sometimes, his tail is wagging and you can tell, he wants to say hello and visit. Other times, his hackles shoot up and he sounds like a hound from hell rather than our loving friend. I've tried treats, having him sit when other dogs go by, finally, we just walk on "high alert" and avoid contact at all costs. If we do have a near contact, I have to hold him firmly beside me with both leash and collar.

The thing is, there are other dogs he plays with off leash at their homes and he's fine. Rambunctious, but fine. On the other hand, while he's had great times at the dog park before, if a "tougher" dog comes in, he will not back down and will fight. In other words, as long as he's alpha, all is good.

I am mostly concerned about the leash issue because I am pregnant and my husband is away a lot. I will have to walk this dog with a stroller in hand soon and if we see another dog, I won't be able to control him like I do now. Any advice you can give me would be great. Thanks!

Hi Veronica,

Congratulations on your pregnancy. We hope the following will shed some light and make walking your dog easier. It would be hard to guess why your dog is aggressive on leash; there could be several reasons. Some of these reasons may be fear of not being able to get away from a possible fearful situation (due to being leashed) ; he may be fearful due to lack of socialization; he may simply be a bully; or he may be frustrated by not being able to get to the other dog, and this may be fueling his aggression. There could be other reasons as well, but regardless, we need to get him to do something that would be incompatible with lunging and going towards another dog in an aggressive way. Management tools are a good place to start. A Gentle Leader Head Collar that fits on the head of the dog might be a wonderful tool for you, but you would need to familiarize your dog to wearing it, by reading directions carefully. Also, another product that would provide some help would be the Gentle Leader Easy Walk Harness. These products can be purchased from WWW.premierpetdirect.com . Either one of these products will give you more control, but neither one will teach your dog what he needs to learn; they will make it easier for you. You will still need to coach him, but at least you will have more control of your large dog, while you coach him on these other skills.

Once you have better physical control, it will be easier to do the following. Take plenty of high value treats with you on your walk. If the other dog is far enough distance away, and your dog has not shown aggression or become overstimulated, ask him to sit and look at you for a treat. Then as the other dog comes closer to your dog, start turning your dog around, go the other direction, and then begin to make circles as you walk, keeping fluid motion until the other dog has passed and things calm down. You can give treats to your dog as you make these circles; that is, if he will eat them at that time. Keep your demeanor calm and matter-of-fact. As you show him that you are not worried and that he can depend on you to remain strong and not fall apart, this should help. He should not be coddled or shown sympathy, as this might be taken as praise, nor should you become angry with him at a time that he is clearly out of control, possibly from fear. Whenever you can, before the situation escalates, ask him to sit for treats; when the situation becomes more intense, keep the flow and keep him moving.

Continue to be a good coach and keep up with his training. The stronger your relationship is, the easier it will be to get compliance, especially when adverse situations come up. By using equipment that is designed to help physically hold onto your dog while walking and by showing your dog that he doesn’t have to focus on the other dogs and that paying more attention to you will be to his benefit, your walks should soon become less stressful for both of you. The fact that he will not back down and will fight other dogs at the dog park, eliminates the park as an option. Thank you for reading The Loved Dog and for your kind words. If you would like more information than we can provide here , we recommend the following for more resources: Feisty Fido, Help For the Leash-Aggressive Dog,by Patricia B. McConnell, Ph.D. and Karen B. London, Ph.D.; Video by Dr. Ian Dunbar, DVM, “Dog Aggression: Biting and Fighting” and “Fight” A Practical Guide to the Treatment of Dog-Dog Aggression by Jean Donaldson, all of which can be found on the Internet.

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hi Tamar;

I read your response to Shelly about separation anxiety, and we've tried everything we've been told for almost 3 weeks. We adopted a Manchester Terrier/German Shepherd mix who is 9 mos. old through Planned Pethood. She is great except when we leave. She soils her cage and cries every time we leave. We have done "pretend exits" when we come right back to desensitize her, leaving a radio on, leaving our shirts with our scent on it nearby, stuffing the kong, making comings and goings boring, you name it! She is not getting better. We've had her almost 5 weeks and we love her, but we are getting very tired of cleaning her and the crate every time we come home. We tried her in our front hall and it seemed to help, until she discovered she could jump the gate and run free in the house. We don't trust her to be free! Please, if you have any other ideas let us know!

Thanks so much

Hi Heather,

Separation anxiety can certainly be a difficult problem, due to the fact that there are many variables with individual dogs. Here are some more suggestions for you to try.

Make sure to exercise her as much as possible and give her some sort of "Nose" work to make sure her physical and mental needs are met.

When you are home, get your dog used to not following behind every step you make. When walking into another room, close the door behind her, every now and then. Start with a few seconds, then minutes, then longer; so that she can not see your face as you go into another room, vary the times you do this. You can even do the same sort of thing by putting her in a crate or leashing her to something solid, while you sit in a chair. Start by sitting, facing her, then slowly start turning the chair so that she cannot see your face. Do this for short times, with the idea being to allow her to become comfortable, not being able to see your face.

You mention that she was doing better in the front hall, before she learned to jump the gate. They do make extra-tall gates, and I have seen people add half-doors, where they are needed, in order to make a confinement area. If she did better in a larger area, it might be good to revisit the idea.

Many dogs have been helped with finding something that will help to calm her emotional state. You might look into using dog appeasing pheromones, DAP. There is a product you can plug into an electrical outlet and it will emit these pheromones that she will smell, and that may calm her. You can ask your vet about this product, and even find information on the internet about it.

Some dogs are helped with body wraps and or a product called a Calming Cap. These items have been quite helpful to many dogs with stress-related anxieties, and your dog might be one of these dogs. Among others mentioned on a search engine, for dog body wraps and caps are www.anxietywrap.com and the calming cap can be found here: www.premier.com .

There are many things you can try, including alternative therapies such as Bach flower essences. Rescue Remedy is one of these essences that is often used for dogs. There is even a Flower Essence Society, www.flowersociety.org Some people are even seeking out acupuncture, and some dogs seem to respond well to this alternative therapy.

Continue to try making your comings and goings non-eventful, and leave your dog with things to do, such as rotating her toys every day, and do try some of the things mentioned above.

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hi Tamar,

My dog Gertie, a yellow lab/terrier mix, makes an absolute mess with her water bowl. Long story short, she doesn’t drink her water so much as she CHEWS it. This creates a huge disaster around her bowl; the floor is always wet. In addition, she goes back and forth to her bowl, almost as if she doesn’t know if the water will always be there. She’ll go to it, chew it like crazy, walk away, and immediately go back to do it again. She is a very, very good dog, but this is such a frustrating situation—the floor is never dry. It would be one thing if it was just the area around her bowl, but half the time she turns her head, walks away, and gets water as far away as her leash takes her (we tie her up right now while she eats because she’s excitable and puked one time after eating; this way she’s guaranteed to not run around and upset her stomach). Why is she doing this, and is there a way to make her a calmer water drinker? It might help to know that she is a 1-2 year old stray who had 1-2 batches of puppies before my husband and I adopted her from the Humane Society. We have another stray, around the same age, who is a foxhound/lab/retriever mix, and they each have their own food and water bowls in separate areas of the kitchen.

Thank you!

Hello Annie,

Surprisingly, this problem does come up from time to time and you are not the only one out there that has wet floors. There is a fairly simple solution for this problem, and we hope it helps Gertie to be less messy. Try getting her one of the little water dispensers made for dogs,; just be sure to refresh the water daily, or you might try placing a very large smooth river rock into a ceramic water dish. If the "smooth" rock takes up most of the bowl, she will have to lick the water from around the bowl and rock and will not be able to get a big mouth full. Many times, after the dog starts lapping up the water for a few weeks, she might not need the rock "center piece" in her water bowl, and you can remove it. Never restrict her from water, but you can make it a bit harder to gulp!

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hello,

We have a Border Collie who is 8 years old. She originally belonged to my parents, but we took her about 5 years ago after my mother had a stroke. She's a good dog for the most part, but she does something I've never heard of before and we can't seem to stop her. She travels with us and every time we meet an 18 wheeler on a 2 lane road she jumps at the window in the back seat and barks and growls. A few times she has tried to jump forward toward the windshield which could cause an accident. She usually isn't bothered by motor homes, trailers or other cars. She has never been in a car accident and has never been hit by a car. She's a big Border, 60-70 pounds and when my husband drives it's hard for me to control her. I've tried snacks, scolding, kindness, but nothing will stop her.

Can you please help us?

Hi Ronda,

Many of our "herding" breeds are sensitive to noise and movement, and the fact that she gets this worked up about a large noisy truck isn’t shocking, but this doesn’t make for a "safe" ride for you or her, so we have some ideas for you. First of all be sure to have her in a harness type seat belt, or in a crate if possible. Even if you have a small car and can not get a crate in the car, a seatbelt restraint made for dogs should work to keep her from flying into the windshield or from falling onto the pedals on the floor! Try some preventative measures by packing her ears with cotton wads (careful not to push to far into the ear canal) and try to cover her eyes before heading out on a road trip. One way to cover her eyes to some degree would be to get a Calming Cap from www.premier.com , which you will need to introduce to her ahead of time, but well worth a little time. If she does well with her sight and hearing muffled, do this for several weeks, and then start removing some of the cotton, and then try removing the Calming Cap. Be sure to praise her in a calm gentle way, if she does not over-react to the big trucks. One thing worth trying would be to try DAP (dog appeasing pheromone) in a spray form. You could spray it in the car before traveling with her and it might calm her down. This can be found in some pet stores or on the Internet.

This is a tough one because it would be hard to desensitize her to a large truck, unless you know someone who has one ;-) , or you can somehow predict when one’s coming and then to try this while your driving, would be dangerous!

Confining her to a covered crate would be the first choice, then having her securely fastened into a well fitting harness made for use with a seatbelt, and the use of some of the calming tools mentioned above will hopefully help this big girl to become a more peaceful passenger.

Best wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

I have given my dog Chyna people food from time to time out of love, but now I can't get her to stop begging. I know this is my fault, but it is really getting unbearable. She begs constantly. If Im in the kitchen she cirlces my feet over and over like a hawk waiting for food to hit the floor. Once, she even caused my mother to stumble and drop a whole pan of macaroni and cheese onto the floor! When we sit down and eat she sits within inches of our plates while staring at us and just waiting for us to give in. I have also tried putting her in her crate while eating or preparing food in the kitchen and she literally whines and barks because she cannot beg from across the room. I know this is bad but I often find myself giving her food just so she will go away and leave me alone. What do I do to break this horrible habit without making her feel excluded from the family. Please Help!

Hi Erica,

The good news is that Chyna is a smart dog, and she has learned her lesson well, thanks to you. She has learned that if she begs long enough and hard enough, you will most likely give in and give her something. You can see the same scenario in your local grocery store. Young children begging for sweets or toys, making a big fuss, in order to get their parents to "give in" and let them have what they demand, because it’s worked for them before!

You say that Chyna’s begging is getting unbearable and that you want to change this behavior. That can be done, only if you can change your behavior. Start by being firm about not giving her any food while she is at the table, or in the kitchen when food is being prepared. You mention that you give "people food" from time to time, out of love. If it gives you comfort to give her these "special treats" and you want to save her a bite or two of food from your plate, that’s fine, since it gives you and her pleasure but there needs to be guidelines on how and when you do this. Because the begging has gotten out of hand and it bothers you, you can change this situation. You could teach her that the only time she will get these special bites are after your plate is taken to the kitchen and everyone has clearly eaten, and it’s time to clean up. Place "her" bites into her dog food bowl. If she knows how to "down," ask her to do a down, in order to earn her special treats.

You can expect her behavior to get worse before it gets better, because she expects you to give in, as you have in the past. If you need to restrict her on a leash that is tied to something solid or to put her in a crate, to prevent her from leaping into your lap or onto the table, do so. Do not look at her, talk to her or touch her when she makes a fuss, because you would not want to reinforce her unwanted behavior. When you are done eating and you want to give her a treat, go to her bowl and offer the treats. If you want her to do something for that treat, that’s fine.

Stick to this routine and be firm in your behavior and you will see that she will stop begging and you might even find her in the kitchen, waiting for those special bites. Have patience, as she really has learned well, from your previous training; now she just has to see that the rules have changed, and that you’re in control of the food and she’s not!

Best wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hello,

Your book The Loved Dog is VERY helpful. I have a 3yr old, male Bichon Frise who is relatively friendly. I have 3 older children, my youngest daughter was 11 when we welcomed our dog into our home. My dog is okay with taller, older children that enter out home. But, he begins to show aggression when any young child below 4 ft comes into our home or tries to approach him outside. We are in the process of adopting an 18 month-old boy within the next 3 months: so it is important that I try to solve this problem now. How can I expose my dog to other younger children safely?? I’ve taken him to parks with Treats in my pocket, but I’m hesitant to bring him near anyone’s young child. How do I let him know that young children are not a threat to him?

Hello Karen,

First, congratulations on the wonderful addition to your family.

Dogs that do not grow up around young children are sometimes worried about little ones that are close to their height and that move in awkward ways and make weird sounds, but we can do a lot to ease their fears. Your young son may not have been exposed to dogs and may not know how to behave around dog as well.

Good management is vital in this process. Young children should always be watched carefully and never allowed to be alone with dogs, unsupervised. When you do have a chance to have your dog around young children, use this time to show your dog that it can be a good experience and not a fearful one. You have the right idea in taking him to the park so he can see the children; just make sure it remains a positive thing as seen through the dog’s eyes. Keep him at a distance where he does not feel threatened, even if this is actually the parking lot! As soon as he sees the kids, start offering him valuable treats. Then turn him around and start walking away from the kids,; at the same time, the treats stop coming. After a couple of minutes or so, turn him back towards the kids and start feeding the treats again. Repeat this several times, and gradually see if you can get him a little closer to the kids each time, but not so close to them that he becomes nervous or worried. The park setting might not be the best place to do the next step. The next step would be to ask someone you know who has a young child to help you. If your dog has a toy or two that he likes to play retrieve with, give these toys to your friend and ask her to have her child touch and handle these toys, then place them into a Ziploc bag until you are ready to play this game with your dog. Keep your dog on a secure leash and at a distance that does not cause your dog to become anxious. If your dog likes to play retrieve, you can start the game by your throwing the toy (that now smells of this child), and when your dog gives it to you, you throw that same toy over to the other person, who gives the toy to the child to throw. Your dog retrieves the toy, and again you toss the toy to the child, so that the child can start the game again. Do this for only two or three throws, to start with, and end the game with you walking off with your dog, and putting the dog away, another room, a crate or somewhere where the dog can safely be confined. We want the dog to think, "darn, where did that kid go!" I wasn’t ready to quit, and now my fun times have stopped! Nothing bad has happened, other than that kid disappeared, and so did the fun. You can do the same sort of thing with food; if your dog doesn’t like to retrieve, you just have to make sure the child does not hand the food to the dog, but instead tosses it.

The point being that whenever your dog is around small children, you should make sure that he isn’t simply tolerating their presence, but he looks forward to them being around, because it insures that he will have something pleasant to look forward to: when in the presence of young children, wonderful things happen.

When your young child comes home, introduce the two slowly. Keeping your dog at a distance, allowing your dog to hear, smell and see your boy at a distance, while making good things happen for both the child and the dog. Use good management in the first few weeks, and they should become good friends as they grow up together. Any prep work you can do with your dog should help, but shouldn’t be counted on as a sure thing. You will still have to coach your boy to respect your dog, and vise versa.

Best wishes to your expanding family,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hello, unfortunately we have just lost our last dog at the age of 16, now we wanted to start our new family with two dogs and one cat. My preference is to have two Parson Russell pups from one litter, but someone told me not to have two puppies together because of the fighting of who is in charge. What are your thoughts on this? Thank you so much for your help!

Hi Daphne,

Sorry to hear of your loss with your older dog. Sixteen years is a long time to have with a good friend, and we celebrate that you had that long with a good friend. Glad to hear that you are ready to welcome another treasured friend (or two).

This is a very common question, and many people discover after getting more than one pup at a time, that this is sometimes a bit more work than they ever expected. This is a bit of a personal opinion. Some people enjoy having two littermates, growing up together. On the other hand, there are certainly things to consider.

It’s much harder to bond with each individual pup, one on one, when there are two! Dogs know how to relate to each other, especially littermates. They know how to play doggy games, how to "read" each other, and how to interact with other dogs. They have to "learn" how to communicate with people, how to play "human" games, and what they can bite and not bite around us. If two pups grow up together playing games with each other, and not so much humans, they often turn to their own kind for their good times, and don’t care so much about pleasing humans or looking towards us for their interactions. They often develop such tight bonds that leaving one alone, separate from the other, can be a stressful and traumatic experience. Even a trip to the vet or an unexpected separation of some kind can be problematic. It is not unusual to hear of dogs that grow up together and at a later stage of life, one passes away and the other experiences great grief.

Another thing to consider is the responsibility of the regular cost of preventive vet care, food, and general cost of giving quality care to two pets verses one.

When you have one puppy that depends on you for their attention, leadership and wellbeing, that pup learns to look to you for everything. The bond that this leads to is not diluted down by the importance of another dog. That said, if you can manage to keep these two separated a great deal of time, so that they don’t play their "best" games with each other, instead of you, and you have the time to "coach" each one individually, it could be loads of fun. You would need to be careful to make sure they both can cope with being alone from time to time, and that you remain more important to each one, more so than the other pup.

You might consider getting one pup, coaching it to become a great canine companion and then after a year or so adding another family member and starting again. Basically it’s like having the work of raising twins compared to a single baby at a time, only it’s compounded by the fact that we need to consider that canines will naturally gravitate towards their own species more so than towards people for their relationships. These are just a few things to consider. Whether you decide to welcome one or two pups into your home, get started early and if you get two, we wish you lots of energy

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hi Tamar,
I'm a veterinary technician, so boy, do I see a lot of bad doggie behaviors! My question is a general one: if you have an aggressive or dominant dog (i.e., one who nips or growls at the kids and won't obey the parents' command to stop) how do you stop the behavior without using the alpha roll or some similar approach (say, a la Cesar Milan)? My boss believes some dogs just won't learn any other way and has seen many successes with this approach. As an animal advocate, I'd rather see the dog keep his home and not end up in a shelter for this kind of misbehaving. I'm open to other approaches, it's just that I'm skeptical of the gentle approach always working. Shouldn't the dog's individual temperament (as well as the owner's) dictate the training method? I'd love to see only gentle methods used; I just don't know if it's realistic. Are there dogs you haven't been able to train this way? I'd appreciate a response because I'd love to be able to tell clients they can use a gentle approach no matter what the problem is. Thanks!

Hi Joanne,

Thank you for being an animal advocate and for seeking other methods for guiding assertive, pushy dogs. Not all dogs that demonstrate these traits are "aggressive," but they certainly can become aggressive if the situation is not addressed or is mishandled. I have seen many dogs that have been empowered with manners needed to get along within a human pack, without using outdated, intimidating and forceful methods. It is dangerous to use negative techniques, both to the person delivering the punishment (correction) and to the animal, not to mention the relationship between canine and man(kind)! I do not believe that the Alpha rollover is teaching anything but to fear people!

The Loved Dog offers suggestions and ideas of how to improve situations when the dog clearly needs more guidance and coaching for life. The methods are very realistic, in that they can and do work for almost every dog. Sadly, many people gravitate to the older, harsher training methods, in order to find a "quick fix," which can work for the moment, but can have a disastrous outcome in the long run. As you can read about in the book, dogs are pack animals and they need loving, confident and consistent coaching from those around them. When using The Loved Dog methods, the dog actually wants to listen to the owner, because it's so much fun! I believe that most dog owners prefer to teach their dog manners using games, rather than using anger, force and intimidation. You, Joanne, can be an ambassador for dogs, speaking on their behalf and asking their owners to be good coaches to them and treat them kindly.

Coaching a dog to follow instruction and learn good manners is the key. If you add relevance to the things he is asked to do, you'll see better and longer-lasting results than by using intimidation. Simple guidelines--from how to play games, how to ask permission to go outside, what to do instead of jumping up on people, and where the dogs "place" is within his pack of humans--can be taught in everyday interactions. Show him that his food, the games he plays, the attention he receives, his exercise, and things important in his life are directed by a mentally strong leader, and you will lead him to a state of compliance, in short order. Kind, clear and consistent guidance works fast and best.

I encourage you to read the book for more insight and to continue to do the right thing by being an animal advocate. Also, see if you can encourage your boss to read the book and perhaps even attend some behavior seminars at the conferences he most likely attends for his continuing education. He has many excellent colleagues in the veterinary community that are promoting positive methods to solve behavior issues, thus improving general overall health in animals. Thanks so much for your question.

With love for ALL dogs,
Tamar and The Loved Dog coaching team

Hi Tamar,
I have an 18-week-old Labradoodle (Amos) that is perfect at obedience school (very smart, fast learner, etc.), but when he comes home he is a holy terror. He will not leave our 12-year-old Labrador Chloe alone. He constantly bites her (and draws blood) and is relentless. Her only solace is to get in the pool. I separate them when the tormenting gets too much, but then they both bark nonstop. I'm afraid we are fast becoming a menace to the neighborhood. Our instructor at puppy obedience school suggested using a shock collar. I have one on the way that I purchased online, but until then, any suggestions? Thanks!

Hi Sheryl,

This is a fairly common problem and one that your obedience school should have helped you with, unless they were not aware of the situation--or they may have just tried to stop a behavior without addressing the bigger picture. Labradors and Poodles (Amos's Mom & Dad) were originally bred to hunt birds, which requires lots of energy and drive. Even though your dog Chloe is also a Labrador, she's getting up there in age, and older dogs generally don't have the same level of intense play or energy as your youngster. My heart goes out to Chloe as I read your question. By the time you come to her "rescue," she's most likely had it with this young whippersnapper! Amos is lucky that Chloe is a sweet dog.

For a few months, give this a try: only allow Chloe's best playtimes to be with you, her coach! Not only will this build the bond you have with her, but poor Chloe will appreciate some peace. Then place Chloe in a safe place out of sight or behind a closed door, while you work with Amos, and give her a nice "loaded" Kong toy or something for her to chew, while she's separated.

Now go ahead and address some of Amos's basic needs. Start by playing fetch and tug of war games with him and teach him that you are the best playmate he could ever ask for. Teach him to have manners and a soft mouth even in the midst of an energetic bout of tug of war (please follow the rules that I've outlined in the book). Also, start taking long walks with Amos, to help him burn off energy. You aren't ignoring Chloe, but Amos must have more exercise because he's so young. To help them get along together in your presence, teach them to respect each other by following your lead. If you are home, tie one dog to your waist and that dog can be "it" for a period of time, then switch and have the other dog as your constant companion. During these times, the dog that isn't joined up with you is free to just be a doggy. Go about your business until you have time for a brief coaching session. Work on anything you choose, and then switch dogs.

The barking part of this problem should diminish as these two learn to honor each other's time with the leader--you! One of the main reason dogs bark is simply boredom, so as you spend more quality time with your dogs, the barking will decrease. You can separate the two dogs when you are not home, either in crates or some other way, which would be the best thing to do. They can come together during small, brief, supervised periods, leaving the "best" playtimes to include you. This will not harm their relationship and it will continue to build your relationship with your younger dog. We want Amos to choose to seek your attention and direction, instead of looking to Chloe.

I hope you send the shock collar back. Using electric shock on any animal is abuse, no matter what the reason. Unless life or limbs are at risk, and only unless all other teaching fails, should they be used, if at all. For now, continue coaching Amos, and arrange for him to play his best games with you, instead of with Chloe--and for goodness sake, don't allow any opportunity for Amos to drag poor Chloe around by the neck till she bleeds, ouch! As for your neighbors, try bringing them some home-baked goodies and let them know you are doing your best to fix the situation.

With love for ALL dogs,
Tamar and The Loved Dog coaching team

Tamar,
I have a 16-month-old Cane Corso who has always been considered a wimp. He has recently realized his size (160 lbs) and is dominating the other dogs at the dog park. It's almost to the point that I don't want to take him there anymore. And people literally leave the dog park because of him. I make him get off the dog and do a down stay but the second he can be free he will run to the dog again and sit on him and put his whole mouth around the neck or parts of the body. He doesn't bite down. He always seems to pick out one dog from the group. And he usually listens to the dog if they snap at him no matter how small the dog, but if they are any bit unsure of themselves he will bully them. He has never been aggressive with other dogs or people. I have been socializing him since he was 2 months old. I have no idea how to handle this problem. Can you please help!

Hi Lisa,

Wow, a 160-pound teenager who's a bully! You certainly have your work cut out for you as a coach, and it's easy to understand your frustration. Your dog is not ready at this time for the dog park. Dog parks are a wonderful place for dogs of all sizes, but only if they are social with other dogs and people--and at this time, your young dog is not social. It doesn't mean that he will never go to the dog park again, but for now, he needs to stay out. You need to work very hard to become a strong leader to this dog and to sharpen his response to your requests. Start by reading chapters twelve and thirteen in The Loved Dog. Your dog needs to learn to follow your lead and guidance in order to comply with commands while under heavy distraction, at the park. And until he has mastered an excellent response time, you do not have enough control of the situation to take chances.

Please remember that each time he plays rough in the park, it sharpens his skills at being a bully. If he's allowed to continue to bully other dogs at the park, the behavior may escalate into full-blown aggression. In a more controlled environment, he will not have a chance to rehearse this dangerous behavior. I would find dogs that he does not bully, and has played with before, and try to get together with their owners for a "controlled" play session. Check with local doggy daycare centers in your area. You may find some dogs that will be confident enough that he can still play or hang out with.

You cannot rush maturity, nor can you rush training. This will take some effort on your part. Your dog needs strong leadership and instruction at this time in his life. You have a powerful, strong, large dog and you need to match your leadership to the dog. Play tug of war games with him, so he gets more pleasure from playing with you than with other dogs. I highly recommend getting him obsessed with a tennis ball, which you can control and use at those times that you need him to focus on you.

Give this young dog the seven basic needs of a dog, as listed in The Loved Dog, and with time and coaching, you'll see a more confident, older, educated dog having a great time with the other dogs at the dog park!

With love for ALL dogs,
Tamar and The Loved Dog coaching team

Hi Tamar,
We have an 11-year-old Border Collie/Sheltie mix. She was a shelter dog we have had for 9 years. My grown daughter and granddaughter came to live with us when my granddaughter was 15 months old. The dog was great with her from birth, until my granddaughter really began getting around, and then the dog started growling at her, and has nipped her a couple of times. We love the dog, but are very scared that she will hurt my granddaughter, who is now 2 1/2. My granddaughter knows to stay away from the dog, but the dog sometimes growls when the child just walks past. The dog loves it when the child feeds her treats, but we're not sure if this is a good habit or not. We thought it might help, and although the dog is great with my granddaughter then, she goes back to her growling behavior. She is excited to see my granddaughter when she comes home and sleeps right outside her bedroom door every night. Is there anything we can do so that we can keep our beloved dog (who we make sure gets plenty of attention), but not risk something happening to our granddaughter?

Thank you for any help you can give.

Hi Elizabeth,

First and foremost, let's make sure your granddaughter is safe. At no time should the judgment of a 2 ½-year-old be depended on, especially around a nervous, potentially aggressive dog. Even though she knows to stay away from the dog, she is still a young child, and she might forget and or make a mistake. Always supervise--if the child and the dog are in the same area and the adult in charge has to leave the room, the child goes too! No exceptions.

Start using the principles in The Loved Dog to provide good leadership and good coaching to your dog. This dog needs to follow commands and have very good manners and understand the relevance of her actions. Right away, start by teaching her as many things as you can come up with. Sit, down, come, wait, take it or drop, off, roll over, shake, etc., will only help her to see that when she does as you ask, she'll earn your praise, a treat, and maybe even a jackpot! Making her feel smart, combined with a special treat, will help her enjoy the process.

After she has mastered these requests with her adult coach, then she should only get to do these "fun" things when your granddaughter is around. You want her to associate that: child present = good thing happens. If the dog plays with a ball or toy, chases it and brings it back, your granddaughter needs to be in the area. An adult can hold the dog back on a leash while your granddaughter throws the toy, and pretty soon your dog will think, wow, it's good when that little person is around! You should use the leash only to prevent the dog from getting too close to the child while she throws the ball, and release it so the dog can run after the ball.

All games involving very young children must be controlled and safe. If the dog enjoys when your granddaughter feeds her treats, and if you feel she's not in danger in doing so, fine. Also consider walking up to the dog's food bowl holding your granddaughter's hand and a tasty treat in the other. You toss the "gold" food treat into her food bowl, and your dog will realize, when this adult approaches my food bowl when I'm eating, and she has that little person with her, the heavens open and down comes a gift from above! Hey, that kid is important to me! Maybe I like having her around! If you make your granddaughter important in your dog's eyes, she'll understand that this "little person" has power. Also, do some child-proofing--you need to teach your dog to like when someone is pulling on her tail or ear, or when someone surprisingly grabs her, the way your grandchild might. Simply practice with your dog that the best treats follow an ear-tug or a tail-pull. Smile and say "take it!" Soon, she'll look forward to being physically teased.

And last but not least, never fuss at your dog if she growls at your granddaughter. A growl is a dog's way of telling you she's not comfortable with the situation. She's being a good dog to "warn" you. So if you hear a growl, look around to see what is going on at the time. Consider this a red flag and find a way to correct the problem. If you take away her growl, the next time something makes her uneasy, she may not bother to warn you, she may bite instead! A word of caution: if anyone is allowed to use negative training with this dog, it could provoke more unwanted aggression and your grandchild would be in more danger. If you can find a good coach in your area, who trains using positive methods, and who can help you with changing your dog's unwanted behavior, that would be wonderful.

With love for ALL dogs,
Tamar and The Loved Dog coaching team

Tamar,
We adopted a Pomeranian mix from the local shelter 6 months ago. She was frightened of females and nipped occasionally when we tried to touch or pick her up. She also piddles whenever we come home or sometimes when we just reach down and pet her. We hoped she would get over these behaviors as she came to know and trust us, but this has not happened. There seems to be information out there to help with the aggression, but not much on the excitement urination. Can you please recommend a method for changing this behavior? We are about to give up and send her back to the shelter, but fear she will not be adopted out again if we are forthcoming about her behavior issues. Please help.

Hi Rebecca,

I'm so glad you asked this question because it is a very common problem. If you give up on her and return her to the shelter, her chances of finding someone who will adopt her will diminish. More than likely, these behaviors are what caused her to lose her original home in the first place. You say she "was" frightened of people, so we will assume that she is improving in that area--but because she still "piddles" whenever you come home or reach down towards her, we will focus on this problem. Submissive urination is a way for young dogs and puppies to show submission to another animal. This is believed to be just one of those things they are born knowing. It keeps them "safe" from another animal who might perceive them as a threat, as they are clearly, in doggy language, waving a surrender flag! She is trying to tell you that she is worried and wants to make absolutely certain that you understand that she is trying to please you and is not trying to threaten you. So, knowing that this is out of her control, and that she is not misbehaving on purpose or with malice, we can try to help by understanding.

When you come home or when anyone enters your home, do not look at her or talk to her for a short time. Only until she has "emotional" control of herself and acts calm and confident is anyone to acknowledge her. This may sound harsh, but in reality, it's the kindest thing you can do to help her. She needs time to deal with her emotions. If you see that she is uneasy or showing insecurity, don't comfort her, as it may seem that you are praising her, thus increasing the likelihood that the behavior will increase. Also, don't get angry with her, which could easily increase her fears and she would have to become even more submissive, in order to prove to you that she is not a threat. That leaves neutral as our only choice of response.

Once she demonstrates a more confident attitude, you can approach her from the side and give her a small amount of attention. If you approach her front-to-front and lean over her in any way, this could elicit more submissive posturing from her, so make it less scary by approaching from an angle and try to avert your eyes, not staring directly at her. Once she's back to being her happy little self, you can enjoy some time together. Any social greetings should be done in this manner, until you see improvement. The same applies to picking her up. Pick her up from her side, do not look directly at her and only talk to her once she is up and in your arms. You can also teach her that that's the only way for her to get a treat, so she will associate being picked up with "pleasure" as opposed to "pain." I truly hope this information helps to keep this sweet little dog in your home.

With love for ALL dogs,
Tamar and The Loved Dog coaching team

Hi Tamar,
I have a 3-year-old and a 10-year-old, and my husband is looking to get a border collie for a pet. Is this dog a good breed for a household with young, very active children? Oh, and a cat, too?

Your opinion would be appreciated.

Hi Wendy,

Border Collies are wonderful dogs: smart, willing to please and very active. Just like any dog that was bred to work closely with man, they seek lots of attention and interaction. If you're too busy to instruct them as to what their "job" is on any given day, they might just come up with something to do, all on their own. They are not your laid-back, lay-at-your-feet kind of doggy. I sense from the way you write your question that you already have a pretty full plate with two young, very active kiddos, and a pet. Dogs are a wonderful addition to any family as long as all of their 7 basic needs are being met. If adding another active youngster causes chaos, more so than pleasure, it might be a good thing to wait. If your family has time to devote to coaching a dog, and work in enough exercise to keep the dog mentally and physically fit, go for it!

It's refreshing that you have taken the time to write. You're doing your homework, which is great planning. If every potential dog owner would gather information before getting a dog, now that would be awesome! You might check with Border Collie rescue. Sometimes very nice, mature dogs are given up for adoption. Some of these dogs may already be housebroken, and may be great around children. Border Collies as a breed are wonderful dogs, for the right families--but they do require a lot of work. I'd suggest researching lots of different breeds, and find out as much as you can--you might be surprised to discover wonderful dogs you've never heard of! Thanks for caring enough about dogs to do your research, and best of luck in finding the right loved dog for you.

With love for ALL dogs,
Tamar and The Loved Dog coaching team

My sister has acquired a min pin who is three years old and who is not housebroken or fixed. He goes outside just fine on the leash, but he will come in and mark everywhere, and has no problems going potty #2 anywhere in the house too. She and I would both like to know if it is possible that when she gets him fixed next month if he will stop going indoors, even though I am sure there is smell residue around that she hasn't found. Thanks for any information.

Hi Jamie,

Getting your sister's dog neutered might help with his tendency to mark his spots, but she will still need to coach the dog and address the lack of housetraining. Before he goes in for surgery, ask the vet to check for any urinary or bladder problems. If there doesn't seem to be a physical problem, then you can assume the house soiling is due to lack of understanding of the correct place to use as a potty. You will need a crate that's small enough so the dog thinks he has no choice. If he dirties his "bed" he will have to lay in it. Don't give him too much room. This crate is to be used at night, with him inside and the door closed.

Miniature pinschers are usually very active little dogs, and the biggest mistake people usually make when coaching a breed like this is giving too much unsupervised freedom too soon. They can do their business in another room and come back, before you can blink or turn around twice. You must pay close attention and watch this dog's every move. If you see him going to the bathroom in the house, let him know with a verbal "NO," scoop him up, and take him outside. Praise him when he does his business outside and give it a name, so he'll know he did a good job! You can use "go potty," "hurry up," or "piddles"--whatever you choose, as long as it's not a generic "good dog." If he has an accident and you missed the moment, you'll have to keep a closer eye on him--dogs need immediate feedback. Chapter eighteen in The Loved Dog deals with housetraining, and you can learn how to show your sister's dog where the best place is to do his business--not in the house! Please do not rely on the surgery to fix this problem. It may help, but you have some work to do.

With love for ALL dogs,
Tamar and The Loved Dog coaching team

Tamar,
We have a lovely 8-year-old mixed dog we got from the pound when she was 8 weeks old; she's a Collie/Chow mix. She's playful and loving, but when we leave she gets separation anxiety. She's clawed at doors and doorframes. We try to walk or run her each morning and now are trying to "sneak" out of the house in the morning while she's listening to music or TV and licking the peanut butter we've given her. Really, she just needs to chill out, but we don't know how to help her. We tried crate training for the first year, but she just kept licking her paws so much she was licking the fur off...so now she gets free roam of the house...

Thanks for any advice!

Hi Shelly,

Separation anxiety is a huge "killer" of dogs. Shelters are full of dogs that have been surrendered because of destructive chewing and house soiling. Most owners may not even realize that the cause of all of this is separation anxiety--they just know the results of the dog's behavior are too much to deal with. So thanks for your wonderful intuition and willingness to help your dog!

It's hard to think of the stress you and your dog have suffered over the years in dealing with this. Without knowing too much about what you've tried, let's go over several options. When coming or leaving, always make it a non-event. No goodbyes, pats on the head, food treats that can be gone quickly or any attention within 20 minutes of departures. The same applies in reverse, upon your returns. Give her attention only when she is in a calm, normal state, not when she is overly excited--you don't want to reward her for an unwanted emotional state. For about a month, try to not leave her alone, if possible, for more than 10 minutes at a time. Using a doggy day care center, having a friend come stay with her, or even taking her to a friend's home during the day will help her begin to make positive changes.

Make use of a crate to teach her that she is safe, even if she cannot see you. Start by placing her in a crate that's situated next to a chair where you're sitting, for a only a few minutes at a time. Give her a Kong that has been stuffed with "gold" level treats. Vary the time she spends inside the crate and rotate the crate--sometimes right next to your chair, sometimes in front of it and behind it--and each time give her a stuffed Kong or similar treat. As you open the door and let her out, don't make a fuss. Also, as you walk around your house, go into rooms and shut the door behind you (with her outside the room) for brief periods of time, then start adding more time.

As she gets better at learning that she'll be all right when you're not around, you can try to leave her for longer periods at a time. Continue to teach her to look forward to your departure by leaving her #1 favorite chew toys--as many as five Kongs stuffed with chicken, turkey, and meat--for her to get only as you close the door behind you. The moment you get back, quietly pick up the toys so she can no longer have access to them. Encourage her to be calm by catching her just lying around doing nothing and praise her by saying "Chillout!" in a sing-song voice. Rewarding her when she is in a calm state will produce more calm behavior.

In the end these things should help relieve her anxiety.

With love for ALL dogs,
Tamar and The Loved Dog coaching team

Hi Tamar;

I read your response to Shelly about separation anxiety and we've tried everything we've been told for almost 3 weeks. We adopted a Manchester terrier/German shepherd mix who is 9 mos. old through Planned Pethood. She is great except when we leave. She soils her cage and cries every time we leave. We have done "pretend exits" when we come right back to desensitize her, leaving a radio on, leaving our shirts with our scent on it nearby, stuffing the kong, making comings and goings boring, you name it! She is not getting better. We've had her almost 5 weeks and we love her, but we are getting very tired of cleaning her and the crate every time we come home. We tried her in our front hall and it seemed to help, until she discovered she could jump the gate and run free in the house. We don't trust her to be free! Please, if you have any other ideas let us know! Thanks so much, Heather W

Hi Heather,

Separation anxiety can certainly be a difficult problem, due to the fact that there are many variables with individual dogs. Here are some more suggestions for you to try. When you are home, get your dog used to not following behind every step you make. When walking into another room, close the door behind her, every now and then. Start with a few seconds, then minutes, then longer so that she can not see your face as you go into another room; vary the times you do this. You can even do the same sort of thing by putting her in a crate or leashing her to something solid, while you sit in a chair. Start by sitting, facing her, then slowly start turning the chair so that she can not see your face. Do this for short times, with the idea being to allow her to become comfortable not being able to see your face.

You mention that she was doing better in the front hall, before she learned to jump the gate. They do make extra tall gates, and I have seen people add half-doors, where they are needed, in order to make a confinement area. If she did better in a larger area, it might be good to revisit the idea.

Many dogs have been helped with finding something that will help to calm their emotional state. You might look into using dog-appeasing pheromones, DAP. There is a product you can plug into an electrical outlet and it will emit these pheromones; she will smell them and that may calm her. You can ask your vet about this product, and you can find information on the internet about it.

Some dogs are helped with body wraps and/or a product called a Calming Cap. These items have been quite helpful to many dogs with stress-related anxieties, and your dog might be one of these dogs. Among others mentioned on a search engine, for dog body wraps and caps, are www.anxietywrap.com and the calming cap can be found here: www.premier.com . There are many things you can try, including alternative therapies such as Bach flower essences. Rescue Remedy is one of these essences that is often used for dogs. There is even a Flower Essence Society, www.flowersociety.org Some people are even seeking out acupuncture, and some dogs seem to respond well to this alternative therapy.

Continue to try making your comings and goings non eventful, and leave your dog with things to do, such as rotating her toys every day; and do try some of the things mentioned above.

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hi Tamar;

My dog Gertie, a yellow lab/terrier mix, makes an absolute mess with her water bowl. Long story short, she doesn’t drink her water so much as she CHEWS it. This creates a huge disaster around her bowl; the floor is always wet. In addition, she goes back and forth to her bowl, almost as if she doesn’t know if the water will always be there. She’ll go to it, chew it like crazy, walk away, and immediately go back to do it again. She is a very, very good dog, but this is such a frustrating situation—the floor is never dry. It would be one thing if it was just the area around her bowl, but half the time she turns her head, walks away, and gets water as far away as her leash takes her (we tie her up right now while she eats because she’s excitable and puked one time after eating; this way she’s guaranteed to not run around and upset her stomach). Why is she doing this, and is there a way to make her a calmer water drinker? It might help to know that she is a 1-2 year old stray who had 1-2 batches of puppies before my husband and I adopted her from the Humane Society. We have another stray, around the same age, who is a foxhound/lab/retriever mix, and they each have their own food and water bowls in separate areas of the kitchen.

Thank you!

Hello Annie,

Surprisingly, this problem does come up from time to time, and you are not the only one out there that has wet floors. There is a fairly simple solution for this problem, and we hope it helps Gertie to be less messy. Try getting her one of the little water dispensers made for dogs; just be sure to refresh the water daily, or you might try placing a very large smooth river rock into a ceramic water dish. If the “smooth” rock takes up most of the bowl, she will have to lick the water from around the bowl and will not be able to get a big mouth full. Many times, after the dog starts lapping up the water for a few weeks, she might not need the rock “center piece” in her water bowl, and you can remove it. Never restrict her from water, but you can make it a bit harder to gulp!

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

Hello;

We have a Border Collie who is 8 years old. She originally belonged to my parents, but we took her about 5 years ago after my mother had a stroke. She's a good dog for the most part, but she does something I've never heard of before and we can't seem to stop her. She travels with us and every time we meet an 18 wheeler on a 2 lane road she jumps at the window in the back seat and barks and growls. A few times she has tried to jump forward toward the windshield which could cause an accident. She usually isn't bothered by motor homes, trailers or other cars. She has never been in a car accident and has never been hit by a car. She's a big Border, 60-70 pounds and when my husband drives it's hard for me to control her. I've tried snacks, scolding, kindness, but nothing will stop her. Can you please help us?

Ronda

Hi Ronda,

Many of our “herding” breeds are sensitive to noise and movement, and the fact that she gets this worked up about a large noisy truck isn’t shocking, but this doesn’t make for a “safe” ride for you or her; so we have some ideas for you. First of all, be sure to have her in a harness-type seatbelt, or in a crate if possible. Even if you have a small car and can not get a crate in the car, a seatbelt restraint made for dogs should work to keep her from flying into the windshield, or from falling onto the peddles on the floor! Restricting her movement in the car may be enough to keep her from getting over-excited and worked up as the trucks pass. Having her secured in the middle of the back seat with a seat belt harness would be my first choice, if the crate won’t fit in the car.

You might also try some preventative measures, by packing her ears with cotton wads (careful not to push to far into the ear canal) and try to cover her eyes before heading out on a road trip. One way to cover her eyes to some degree would be to get a Calming Cap from www.premier.com , which you will need to introduce to her ahead of time, but well worth a little time.

You mention that you have tried snacks and even scolding in an attempt to stop this dangerous behavior. Without having seen how this was done, it may have been that your timing may have been off. When either using treats as distraction, or verbal scolding as a means of intimidation to stop the behavior, you timing needs to be very accurate. If using food, the passenger would have to be aware of an approaching truck, and the food delivery needs to start before the dog shows signs of noticing it. The food needs to be of very high value, and would need to be given several pieces at a time in rapid succession, in order to keep her attention on the food and not on the truck. Stop any delivery of food once the truck has passed. The goal here would be for her to eventually look to the passenger for treats and to pay less attention to the trucks. On the other side of the spectrum, there is scolding her at the very first sign of her paying attention to the truck, and continuing to use verbal correction, until she stops. This would have to be used every time she does this. There are potential problems any time a person tries to use correction or intimidation based methods. You would have to do this every time, and you would be at risk of her escalating her behavior and perhaps push her into a defensive mood. You might want to revisit the food approach, but stay away from the scolding, as it would surely cause more stress and might even push this otherwise nice dog, who’s in a high state of arousal, to become aggressive.

Be proactive! Get her into a safe crate or safety harness and try a more calming approach.

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team

One reader writes:

First let me say that Brisco is a male, 7 year old, mini-long haired Dachshund..... His reaction to being crated is getting worse, and has become unbearable

In your letter you state that Brisco has become “wise” to time for crating at night, before bed, and that he avoids being put into his crate. You also mention that per other instructions from another “trainer”, that you have tried, shall we say, some rather negative methods associated with the crate. There has been a lot of negative attention associated with the crate. You also mention that you have tried moving his crate from your bedroom to other places in your home and that you prefer him to not be in your bedroom for several reasons.

You mention in your letter that he is a very affectionate, loving, and willing-to-please little dog, but by the end of your letter you say “my husband is so frustrated with him that he doesn’t even enjoy his company anymore,” this being due to the fact that Brisco does not want to be confined in a crate at night!

Thanks for your letter. We hope this helps you and others who have this problem. Thank goodness Brisco is such a sweet little dog and that he has an owner who is determined to solve this problem. For a Mom of soon to be three young children, all under the age of five years, and the wife of a frustrated hubby, let us look at the bright side. There is hope for Brisco, and the fact this little dog is so affectionate and loving with your young family is fantastic.

With a busy young family, it’s easy to get caught up in a routine that leaves the dog out of the picture somewhat. You may start by making sure this little guy has plenty of exercise. Nice long walks when possible, games of retrieve, “nose” games that allow him to sniff out his food, are all games that the kids can be a part of. When you can, after Brisco has had exercise, put him into his crate with a food-loaded toy and close the door. Allowing him to have a nice chew and a few minutes of rest for a short bit of time during the day may help in his nighttime crating. He needs times to be confined for short periods, when it will be a pleasant experience. These sessions need to vary in time, and small food treats will help make it a good place to be.

Ask your vet about using a product called DAP. Dog Appeasing Pheromone is a product that can have a calming effect on some dogs, and a little unit can be plugged into a wall outlet, similar to a night light, which releases scent molecules into the air in the room where the crate is. You will not detect an odor, but your dog will. After two weeks time, this might help calm Brisco. Another thing to ask your vet about, would be if it might be helpful to give a small amount of Benadryl, only for the first few nights, to help aid in relaxing for sleep. Finding something that may have a calming effect, in the beginning, might help as Brisco learns to adjust; then it can be removed all together over time. Before placing him into the crate at night, take him out to “potty” on a leash. That way you can make sure he has done his business, and then you pick him up and place him into the crate and close the door. Once he’s in the crate, no food, no water, no attention, no “party.” You may have to place his crate as far as you can away from the children’s rooms, so not to wake them, in anticipation of Brisco having a vocal protest. No attention should be given, not by voice, looking at him, or any other means. Simply shut the door and lights out! If you know he’s had good exercise, food and water, and a chance to go “potty” outside, his needs have been met, and he’s in a “safe” place; there should be no need to let him out until morning. Any attention, even if it’s negative, would only make matters worse.

Because of his history, this will most likely take a few nights of his protesting, but within a week’s time he should decide that he might as well give up the protesting and just go to sleep. Even if it takes two weeks, what a small price to pay, if it keeps this otherwise sweet little dog with his family. Due to all the negative attention associated with the crate at night, in the past, now give good associations during the day, and no associations at all at night, except for a quiet place to sleep.

Best Wishes,
The Loved Dog Coaching Team